head, shoulders, knees, & hoes
uh-lay-sin.
austin, tx. 22.
i believe we are all born of stardust.
ethnically ambiguous
kinsey scale: 3
Namaste.
uh-lay-sin.
austin, tx. 22.
i believe we are all born of stardust.
ethnically ambiguous
kinsey scale: 3
Namaste.
so a very close friend of mine is slowly losing his mother to cancer. (fuck cancer, btw) she’s a tough, beautiful woman being taken over by this intruder with no face. he is, of course, devastated. what do you say to someone who is losing someone they care about so deeply?
each loss is so different, for each person and for each time.
when my best friend lost his father, he shut down emotionally but still functioned in everyday life. time did heal all but whether his father was in a better place was something he still can’t bring himself to ponder. he didn’t want to hear pity, didn’t want his loss to affect how people treated him, didn’t want to be an emotional leper, forever broken.
when i miscarried, i shut down mentally. my mind cocooned itself around me until i could process that there was no longer a life inside me, a life that came from me. i wanted my loss hidden as well, but i really wanted someone to tell me that everything would be okay and be able to believe them.
it’s intimidating, really. he’s watching her slowly disappear into the clutches of this monster he can’t see. the woman who slew dragons for him while he slept is now the damsel in distress and the dragons are winning. at this point, hope is giving way to acceptance of the inevitable.
there’re the platitudes like “she’s in a better place” or “time heals all wounds”, but they sound tinny and recycled despite their core truths.
she’s in a better place because it’s a place without hurt. i don’t believe in heaven, but oblivion sounds more comforting than the pain a loved one goes through daily. time does heal all wounds, or at least softens the edges so we can go on existing, maybe even living. but a better place still isn’t in your arms and time goes as slowly or quickly as it chooses.
loss: when something should be around, but isn’t and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
1 month ago
we always see the downside.
we always hear about but the tough days
but there are so many upsides to being gay, or lesbian, or whatever you choose.
what’s your favorite?
